Everyday I look around myself and each day I see something new and ancient that are all special contributions adding to the reality around us. Each person, no matter what shape, color, race, or personality that he or she has is gifted with a special blessing that all should be grateful for.
I will try not to bored you with my desultory writing, but rather to tell you a short list on several things that I am grateful for in life. Of course, in my defense, there are more things to be grateful for. Things that goes unnoticed in this list, they still exists and probably more important than I ever thought. Spare me some judgement, we are all prisoner of the moment.
1. I am alive
I have like everyone else been in situations where an accident and being in the wrong place for just a few seconds could have meant I would not have been here anymore. If I had been born in another time or in another place then there is a big chance that I would not have been here to write this post on this particular day.
But I am here now. I have this moment and day and hopefully many days still to experience and live my life.
It is an amazing thing.
2. A roof over my head, foods in my fridges, and basic necessities of life
Few things feel better than to reflect upon having warm home and a roof over my head when it is cold and windy outside and I can hear the rain beating hard on my window. Most people will also probably forget to put foods on their list of ’50 best things in life’. The reason being is that we are blessed and very much used to it. It is not for everybody’s list, but everybody needs this.
3. Family and Friends
A family is the nearest that I can count on. A group of people whom I can confide in, no matter the situation. And I don’t have many friends to hold on, but they still play integral role upon my story nonetheless. Being grateful is an understatement.
4. Rusticating to Jogjakarta
In a way that I hardly expected, I initially felt both rewarded and doomed during my first 6 months on the former capital. As much I appreciate the fact that I was now as free as air that the world permit a man to be, I did miss the day when I had the luxury of being able to bask my body a little upon the verandah and let it bathed with morning sunshine everyday before school.
It wasn’t easy then as it is still not easy now. 2.5 years in and I still try to adapt after the complete alteration that I commited on my lifestyle. But looking back after all these time and it doesn’t seem so bad. I was both clumsy and sloppy, for I never had the need to take care of everything on my own ; Now, I am a little bit better and isn’t so dependant. Doing chores is still not my second nature, but you can count on me for that one!
5. Being skinny once
Left: July 2013, 41 kg. Right: July 2015, 63 kg
For those who have known me close, I was overly emaciated that I looked like a poor being who put no regard for food on my life. I was 41 kg in 11th grade and had everybody being bigger and better looking. Girls were healthier and I rarely expressed my feeling regarding the problem as I often feel overlooked among my friends. Lack of self confidence nearly destroyed me and there was nothing far-fetched and exaggerated upon the matter. It is real and I wish you to start an immediate action to fix it if you are ever being so unfortunate to encounter this.
But I was so done with complaining or trying to ask the world for simpathy to change their perspective about what they perceive as the ideal body form. I tried to commit myself for good and gradually start hitting the gym. Can’t even do one push up at the beginning but that was not to be taken personally. I did my own research and formed my own exercise and diet regimen to help me along the way. It was nothing like a child’s play, but I can’t deny but to growing addicted to the process (and the result). Voila.
6. Access to the internet
Really, it is not a rocket-science. Being the first generation of millenials that are exposed to the internet, we are all a witness to the fastest developing era in the history of the mankind. Efficiency and productivity rises in unprecedented rate that is quite unheard before.
I am not going to be one of those pessimist who likes to question if the internet actually make the world a better place. Of course it is although there is also huge risk that comes with it. But I think I’m settled for this one. Being able to learn and access every information known to human race at my finger ends. And that doesn’t stop here. The possibility are endless.
For the passion and joy that it brings everytime I lay my legs upon the seat. For the rush of adrenaline my brain receive everytime I went 90+ kmph. The sense of total control that I managed while I slowly release the clutch lever. Albeit, it was only for my personal pleasure, but a good one.
8. The kindness of people I have never met
Everyday we encounter thousands of unknown individuals with various background and their own story that bring them to where they are today, to meet you. And yet, some people still gently share positive vibes to person they never knew or met.
I appreciate the simple kindness by a stranger in my daily life. I really do. I love it when people let me skip ahead of them in the checkout line in the store when I only have a few items. When they stay for a few seconds and hold up the door for me too. Or let me into their lane when I drive. Humanity is not restored, because it has never been dead.
9. Flawed Personality
Some people call me reckless. Others describe me as careless. I personally prefer the term ‘chill’. If I ever trouble myself into a heated argument with you, please save yourself from some disturbance as I will probably forget about it in 15 minutes. 20, if you are actually significant to my existence. I naturally possesed very little degree of petulance. Nonchalance at times. That’s probably why I never have best friend.
I am no sociopath. It is a mere fact that I rarely need someone else to get entertained. Sometimes, it is a double edged sword that means I barely have anybody that I can be relied upon. However, look at the amount of overthinking situation that I save myself from.
Everyone of us has encountered our own fair share of misfortune in the most unexpected way we can imagine. I wasn’t an extraordinary being and also have experienced my soul to be worn with disappointment and heartbroken from the prolonged hardships which I had undergone. Some took it as self boundary that one will never try to surpass again in the future. Others perceive it as motivation to fuel one’s zeal to achieve personal interest. I personally would like to classify myself as the latter although I sometimes act as the former.
Either way, defeat forms me to be more appreciative of the opportunity I have here and will help me grow as a person. One also needs to acknowledge that defeat can also make you or break you. But have I ever told you that I’m not a quitter?